my biggest dream :]

mom&dad, they’re the best people in my life. they’re the most important people for me. they’re always on my side, care with me, protect me, love me, no matter what. yesterday suddenly i feel like want to cry when i see their face. i realized how much they love me. they’re always support me to reach my dreams :’) and the thing that make me want to cry is bcz i fear..i fear how if i fail to reach my dreams ? will i see their dissapointed face ? i dun want :’( now my biggest dream is..i want to make them always happy. i promise. god..please help me :’)

old diary.

"time is priceless. u can't own it but u can use it. u can't keep it but u can send it. once u've lost it .. u can never get it back."

yesterday i was accidentally found my old diary. wew too long i didnt see that > <"
i read again all that i've wrote on there. thats made me realized that -time flies so fast- :'3
until now i experienced and learned so many things in my life. sad time..hard time..happy time..i passed it all. thats the things that make me in here now :]

suddenly i feel like something is missing. the things in the past that not in here now. but like what u all knew..we cant turn back the time..life must go on. now just looking forward to the future..a better future :)

change.

"everyone changes..u cant expect someone to stay the same forever..u cant grow that way."

everything has changed ..

in life..thats normal rite ?

just like the sentences above

for me, 'change' word is cruel

thats when love change to be hate

thats when a lover change to be a hater

thats when someone that really close to u change to be a stranger

thats cruel. rite ?

i hate it

well, it's depends on the situation

not everything is change from good to be bad

sometimes bad things change to be good things :]

and change to be better is a must !

but have u ever felt like ur bestfriends changed ?

have u ever cried because of that ?

i have

and then i'll ask to my self, have i ever did anything wrong to them ?

if yes .. im sorry

but thats so hurt when they're changed when u even didnt do anything wrong to them

just suddenly change... wuuush and friendship didnt same like before again

why like that ? why ?! :(

dear bestfriends .. why r u changed ?

why now u act like we're strangers ?

what did i do wrong with u ?

i miss that time ..

the time when we're laugh together, joke together

share story to each other

and etc

i miss that time !

but i cant turn back the time

a true friend will never leave u alone

i need true friends..friends that will never leave me alone
eventhough time always change and go on ..

i just dun want to be alone

my plan ^w^

ANNYEONGHASEYO~! xD

pufff..finally i can appear again in here after dissapeared for a long time 0---------0
i was busy with my study ne~ i must focus with it. that time i decided to not online in here before my exam finish. now im in here, so it's mean i've done with my exam and imma FREE now. yeay~! xD

it's time for refreshing my mind after dizzy because of the exam @_@ lol

now i've a long holiday. really a long holiday *-*

im confused about what to do in this long holiday~ :3 actually thats not because i dunno what to do but thats because i've so many things that i want to do so im confused. HHAHA 0-0

i wanna hang out with friends. nowadays many friends that ask me to hang out but i cant >.< because i dun have much money now T^T parents not yet give me money =____=

but i decide that i'll not waste my free time. i just want to do something usefull ^ ^

erm..i think i'll write a new novel > < but i dun have any inspiration for the new story now =.=

my first novel even not yet published. i wanna try to bring it to the book publisher. i hope they want to accept it and help me to publish it. hhehe

oh and im planning to do part time work to during my holiday @@ i wanna try to work and get money by my self. i dun want if everything always depends on parents. im searching it now. my uncle said he'll help me to search it *excited* :D

beside that, ofc i must still study hard for the entrance exam to come in university ^ ^

the list of the university that i want is :
1. UI ( Universitas Indonesia / University of Indonesia ) or
2. UNJ ( Universitas Negeri Jakarta / State University of Jakarta )

i hope i can pass it. eventhough it's kinda hard because so many people that want to pass that university too. but i wont give up >__________<

i want to choose major english literature because i really interested with it ^ ^ however..english language is the number one of international language ne. it's important to improve my english. and i think it's really match with my passion :)

now im in the middle of senior high school student and college student. im waiting for my graduating ^o^
also waiting the result of the national exam. i'll know it about next month ne~ i hope i can pass that exam succesfully. my future is depends on that exam. help me YaAllah :')

i've tried my best for it, now what can i do is just pray :]

i must try harder and harder to reach my dreams. i want to make my parents proud of me. so go go go hwaiting for my self~! :'D

uhm...

actually i still have many things that i want to tell in here but my fingers ady tired to typing now. lol. so SEE YA LATER readers~! paipai ^ ^/

for my saengi..hee young :)

annyeong saengi..still remember me ? long time didnt talk ne..i hope u'll never forget me and dun ever think that im forget u. im never forget u..im just busy with my study now .. =,=

i wont and cant often online anm..we cant chat everyday like before again ne. i miss ya and i miss all skull family's members also :( u know what ? im always hope everything will be like before again..our oppa come back on fb and skull familly can be so close like before again >.< but it's impossible ne ? it's have been more than one year since our oppa gone T^T im so sad everytime i remember skull familly..bcoz i miss them so much.

i still can chat w/ jasmine..hani unnie and etc but so seldom..i think they're so busy now..me too =.=

i miss yuki~! u know her rite ? she ever said that she'll back but until now is not. i miss kelly and viky also~! viky..i thought she forgot me already..she removed me from her friendlist in fb. i dunno why T^T

ok..now skull family is different *sigh*

erm..i just wanna say dun forget me and take care always :)

p/s : if u read this..just leave ur comment in this post~ ^o^/

my first novel~! :D

im soooooooooooooo happy~ finally the novel which i wrote ady the end~! >O< *claps* fufu~
it's my first novel >_<

the tittle of my novel is 'Crying Soul'. it's about two people who's love each other but cant be together..well that's a sad story. urmmm actually the story of that novel is mine..it's almost same with my love story..hhehe

i love writing..i really love writing. it's my dream to be a famous writer~i hope that my dream will be come true~ although i know im still must learn for that~ ganbatte~! >.<

SHINee - The Name I Loved.

 

ROMAJI

soni siryeowa sarangui gieogi chagapge dagawa

aryeoonda ijeneun deo isang neoreul bujeonghago sipji anheun nareul algo itjiman

gakkai inneun neol saranghal su eomneungeol algo itgie

nal barabol su eomneun neol gidarimi neomu himdeureo

ijen gyeondil su eobseo irwojil su eopgie

naega saranghaetdeon geu ireum

bulleoboryeo nagalsurok neomu meoreojyeotdeon

geu ireum ijen jeogeonoko na ulmeogyeo

nae ane sumgo sipeojyeo

neol saranghal subakke eobseotdeon

geu nareul ijen arajwoyo

irul su eomneun sarangdo saranginikka

honja hal su eomneun sarangiran neukkimeun naege dagawa

sijak hal su do eomneun geuriumdeureun keojyeoman gago

sirin gaseum han kyeonen neoui hyanggiman nama

naega saranghaetdeon geu ireum

bulleoboryeo nagalsurok neomu meoreojyeotdeon

geu ireum ijen jeogeonoko na ulmeogyeo

nae ane sumgo sipeojyeo

neol saranghal subakke eobseotdeo

geu nareul ijen arajwoyo

irul su eomneun sarangdo saranginikka

sucheon beoneul dorikyeo cheoeumui naro gan sungane

gaseum han guseoge da asagal ne moseubin geol

naega saranghaetdeon geu ireum

bulleoboryeo nagalsurok neomu meoreojyeotdeon

geu ireum ijen jeogeonoko na ulmeogyeo

nae ane sumgo sipeojyeo

neol saranghal subakke eobseotdeon

geu nareul ijen arajwoyo

irul su eomneun sarangdo saranginikka

irul su eomneun sarangdo saranginikka

 TRANSLATION

both hands trembles as i remembered the cold love memories

now it is getting weirder, i dont wish to reject you, but i just know that

no matter how close we are, i know that i cant love you anymore

i cant miss you; waiting for you makes me tired

i cant endure anymore and i cant realize this

the name i loved once in this life

has becoming further and further away from me

i am writing your name on a paper and forever kept it in my heart

from that day i only realized that i will only loved you forever

love that cant be together can also be known as love

i cant handle the love memories and feelings alone

i cant start this, i can only miss you secretly in my heart

my heart only left your body fragrance that i missed and always loved

the name i loved once in this life

has becoming further and further away from me

i am writing your name on a paper and forever kept it in my heart

from that day i only realized that i will only loved you forever

love that cant be together can also be known as love

kept remembering the first time i saw you walking towards me

and stolen an edge of my heart without noticing

the name i loved once in this life (loved once in this life)

has becoming further and further away from me

i am writing your name on a paper and forever kept it in my heart

from that day i only realized that i will only loved you forever

eventhough it is not long, but my love for you will never change

 the name i loved once in this life

has becoming further and further away from me

i am writing your name on a paper and forever kept it in my heart

from that day i only realized that i will only loved you forever

like a star.

made this poem for ranmaru :)

..

he's like a star ..
can shine brightly on the sky ..
make the nite sky being beautiful with his soft shine ..
and accompany me everytime im sad or feel alone ..
because everytime i see the stars i feel calm ..
and make me realize that my life will be so dark without stars ..
the stars never go anywhere ..
always in the sky .. always in my heart ..
eventhough sometimes the stars didn't appear on the sky but i know he always there ..
because maybe he's hide behind the cloud ..
just like a star .. he's so far from here ..
even if i try to run to catch him .. but i still can't catch him ..

maybe me and him just can be together in dream ..

:')

..

an empty heart.

now i'm feel empty
i'm not sad,, not cry,, but also not feel happy ..
my heart is feel empty ..

maybe because i'm feel lonely .. not because i'm 'alone' here .. many people with me but i just feel alone..i mean it's like i'm feel alone in the crowd place..i just don't know why (?) :'(

now i'm feel like want to cry..i want to run away to the place that so far from here ..
hope this empty feeling also will run away from me .. =.=`

excited ^w^

yesterday i'm so happy~ i spent my time to go out with my friends,, ao-chan and kao-chan~ xD

first,, we all went to the book store..hunting book~ huehehe
i want to buy novel and comic,, all novel and comic there is so nice ~ huaaa i'm feel like want to buy that all but can't so i need to choose some book only =m=
finally i choose a novel and a comic,, the title of that novel is "the queen must die"

after that we went to the cinema and watch "harry potter and the deathly hallows part 2" :D
it's so coool~ it's the last story of harry potter ne~ im gonna miss it T^T

then we go to school for extacurricular japanese club,, have meeting there with all senpai and kouhai ._.
then we back home at 17.00 pm from school,, fufufu so tired but fun nee :)