to: mom and dad

mom, dad, u two may never know or read this post but i’ll still write what i want you both to know in here. i just... need to spill it out. im sorry i just can write, when words cant even describe my feeling. tears just burst.

tonight im crying. when i write this, im crying...

why ?

actually it’s just because a small thing. a small thing which caused a little quarrel with you... mom.

maybe im just too childish. i take your scold too seriously. but when i think it again... no mom, it’s not just because of that. im not really sure what exactly is it, but whatever it is, it’s make me feel like im not a good daughter: always do wrong, never good in your eyes.

why mom, why ?

dont you see my effort ?

i always want to give you happiness. i always want you to be happy and see your smile. i hope you know that if your smile is like everything to me.

im never forget you even just for one second, everytime and everywhere.

when im happy because of something, you’re the first people who i told about it. never i hide my happiness from you, never i—when get something great—enjoyed it alone. always told you,  it’s just because i want you to be happy too.

i also never want to see you sad or cry. eventhough i know, sometimes i hurt your feeling because of my words or my attitude. but mom, im really never meant it! you must know that, everytime—i feel that—i hurt you, i just want to slap my self.

i also know that sometimes im naughty, didnt hear your words. but mom, im just a girl then, not an angel. i can make a fault too, but i also learnt from it. i just want to be the best, not the best people in everyone’s eyes, but at least the best for you, i want to be the best in--my best people’s eyes—mom and dad.

mom... you believe me ? your name never absent in my prayers.

mom... i love you. i know and im sure that you love me too. eventhough sometimes you scold me, i know, you did that because you want the best for me.  in it, you taught me how to be strong, taught me how to be a nice people.

from your eyes, i can see your love for me too mom. you're the woman who worried when i get sick, worried when i back home late—eventhough it’s still 7 pm x'D. mom i love you and i bet you know it.

...

dad, i love you too. im closer with mom than with you, but dad, my love to you is bigger than you can know.

i also know that you love me, i can feel it. eventhough you never say it to me directly, but i can see it from your actions. that’s the true love, not through the words but through the real action. i see that dad, thank you. i love you too, really.

you’re the one who always text me or call me if i back home late. mom said it’s because she told you to do that, but i know... you also will do that without she asked you. even when you’re not yet reach home, still in your work, you always text me, ask if i already in home or not, also pick me if im afraid to go home alone. dad, you are my hero.

you’re never mad or angry or scold at me, and even if yes, not as much as mom did. you even always defend me when i got scolded from mom, but then you’ll give advice to me. your words always make me calm and get motivated. your way is smooth but wise and make me obey you.

im sorry dad, if maybe i’ve ever hurted your feeling too. sorry if i’ve ever dissapointed you. thanks for always understand me and patient with me :')

dad, i like your way to take care of me like that. i want you to always take care of me but i realized... i’ll grow up. dad, your little girl will be a woman. i just want to make sure that i will be a perfect woman... in you and mom’s eyes. and i will be the one who take care of you and mom later :)

...

it’s too much. too much things that you both have done to me.

i’ll never feel enough to say “thanks”.

maybe it’s also too much disappoinment that i give.

and i also will never feel enough to say “sorry”.

...

thanks and sorry thanks and sorry thanks and sorry :''')

i love you both i love you both i love you both !!! {{{}}}

...

im your only daughter. your only kid.

yeah.

that’s why i should not dissapoint you :}

wait for me mom and dad. always beside me in my way to reach my dreams.

you two are the reason why i always keep strong. the reason why i always keep spirit, because one of my dreams is always see ur smile. make mom and dad happy :’)

...

like i said before. words will never enough, i cant describe my feeling more.

but you got the point right ? thats i love you and always want to make you happy.

sincerely: the girl who always love u

keep our friendship :)

the late bday gift that u gave to me :p

i wrote our name on a papper and put it in this bottle :)

i'll keep it like we keep our friendship <3
kaochan--sachan--aochan ^0^

we're together since the second grade of high school. eventhough we have known each other since the first year too..but still just like strangers. and then destiny  gathered us in the same class on the second year and we started to be close.

idk whats the thing that made us became like this. maybe because we have the same hobby and the same thinking ? xD idk. i just know that it's so comfortable to be around u guys :)

we have our own nickname. me as sa-chan, asti as ao-chan, and nissa as kao-chan. we got it from our japanese name -> sakura shiraishi, aozora natsu, and kaoru katsuga \^-^/

we listen and give advice to each other's problem, we laugh and cry together, we're walk on this hard life together too..right ? c:

thanks and sorry for everything. i hope our friendship always keep strong and never change.
no matter we're so far now..no matter we have new friends or--other so close friends, just dont forget us !

lets try together to reach our dreams. and after year by year passed..i hope our story will be a beautiful story to tell to our childs later :">

...

btw happy birthday to ao-chan ! xD

im sorry if  i cant give u anything now except love and prayers .. *kisshugfromhere* ;D

it's ur day~! ;)

hellooo 4th of april~ a special day of many special people for me :)

especially my mom ! in this day..an amazing woman was borned.
happy birthday mom :* i wish all the best for u. i wish that i can always make u happy. i wish that i can make u proud of me. mama harus lihat sunny sukses ya :) always health and happy. always with me and support me cz im nothing without u. makasih buat segalanya mama. maaf sekarang sunny cuma bisa kasih kado sederhana. maaf juga kalo sunny pernah bikin mama sedih :( hari ini mama ulang tahun..tapi sunny malah bikin mama nangis. tapi tangisnya tangisan terharu kan ma ? hhehe sunny sayanggg banget sama mama. gabisa diungkapin dengan kata-kata :') love u mom {<3}

happy birthday to my besties too~!
twins EDT (eka, dwi, tri) :* best wishes for u dear. may ur dreams come true ;)
makasih buat segalanya. terutama yang gapernah bosen dengerin aku curhat. hhaha maaf ya gabisa ngasih apa-apa sekarang :( cuma bisa doain dan menulis ini. mungkin tulisan ini juga gaterlalu bagus hhehe. maaf juga baru ngucapin sekarang .. sebenernya sengaja lho~! ahaha xDv kalian pasti nungguin ucapan dari aku kan ? :p *geer bet* wkwk ngucapin yang pertama udah biasa..udah banyak yang ngucapin juga..jadi aku belakangan aja hhoho semoga persahabatan kita bisa langgeng ya {}

also..happy birthday to my lovely family
TED (Theatre of English Department) ^o^ udah 10 tahun ya..semoga lebih baik dalam segalanya <3 tetap eksis dan berkarya (y)

ok then..i wanna say it once again :

happy birthday mama~!
happy birthday EDT~!
happy birthday tedtot~!
dan happy birthday buat SEMUA yang berulang tahun hari ini. wish u all the best \(:D)/

if love has forgotten ..

this is a lyrics of an old song. soundtrack of an old drama titled "snow angel". do u still remember ?
i love that drama so much. it's the first asian drama that make me cry when i watch it. hhehe~
it's so sad -_- even the song and the means of this song.
now i just want to share the translation of the lyrics.
hmm why suddenly i want to share this song ?
maybe because this song is the song of my heart rite now. hhaha :')
for someone..i wanna ask. is it forgotten already ? i mean the love.
for me it's so hard.
am i still hoping for u to come back ? maybe yes ..
but dun worry. im not expect too much. i won't. 

well..i think the prolog from me (?) is enough. hhaha and this is the lyrics :)

"If Love Has Forgotten"

There are always some things we couldn’t say in time

There is always this one person who leaves a trace in your life

I remember those flowers, those naivety, and tears just fell

I only have one thing to ask, are you doing well right now?

If love has forgotten, tears refuse to fall

Those happiness, let her fulfil them in my place

If love has understood the price of promises

What you can’t give me, please give her the full share

There are always some things we can’t let go, becoming old scars

The more you refuse to face it, the more it hurts  

I think of your face, your hair, no I won’t be afraid 

Just let time answer it for us  

If love has forgotten, tears refuse to fall

Those happiness, let her fulfil them in my place 

If love has understood the price of promises

What you can’t give me, please give her the full share

I said I’ve forgotten, that it doesn’t hurt anymore  

That’s only because I’ve loved too deep and knew all too well

I smiled and forgave, it’s worth it if I’m doing it for you

Show me with your happiness that it’s the right decision to let go of my hands now  

Don’t worry about me being reluctant to so 

If love has forgotten, then let him go

Those happiness, let her fulfil them in my place 

If love has understood the price of promises

What you can’t give me, please give her the full share

If love has forgotten, do you still remember?

..

welcome u (:

hey u..we're met by a chance that god gave to us

before..im never thought that we'll be like this

u know that u're my first in real

now i give my heart to u ..

maybe it's still too early to call this feeling is love

but just let this feeling grow up day by day ok ? :)

i dun need a perfect person

i just need a perfect love ..

i dun need a perfect life

i just need a happy life ..

dun just say many sweet words to me

i want u to prove it :)

 

now take my hand and dun ever let me go ..

 can u ?

future ..

no one know about that

maybe then u'll love me more or maybe then u'll love me less

maybe then we'll always together or maybe then we'll separate in two

but lets we try our best to keep this feeling

u'll take care of me rite ?

i believe in u :)

i put my hope on u

dun make me dissapointed

dun hurt my heart

..

 promise ?

  thanks for come into my life <3

welcome to my life

welcome to my heart

welcome u

..

Fahmi Alfian Haki (:

my biggest dream :]

mom&dad, they’re the best people in my life. they’re the most important people for me. they’re always on my side, care with me, protect me, love me, no matter what. yesterday suddenly i feel like want to cry when i see their face. i realized how much they love me. they’re always support me to reach my dreams :’) and the thing that make me want to cry is bcz i fear..i fear how if i fail to reach my dreams ? will i see their dissapointed face ? i dun want :’( now my biggest dream is..i want to make them always happy. i promise. god..please help me :’)

for my saengi..hee young :)

annyeong saengi..still remember me ? long time didnt talk ne..i hope u'll never forget me and dun ever think that im forget u. im never forget u..im just busy with my study now .. =,=

i wont and cant often online anm..we cant chat everyday like before again ne. i miss ya and i miss all skull family's members also :( u know what ? im always hope everything will be like before again..our oppa come back on fb and skull familly can be so close like before again >.< but it's impossible ne ? it's have been more than one year since our oppa gone T^T im so sad everytime i remember skull familly..bcoz i miss them so much.

i still can chat w/ jasmine..hani unnie and etc but so seldom..i think they're so busy now..me too =.=

i miss yuki~! u know her rite ? she ever said that she'll back but until now is not. i miss kelly and viky also~! viky..i thought she forgot me already..she removed me from her friendlist in fb. i dunno why T^T

ok..now skull family is different *sigh*

erm..i just wanna say dun forget me and take care always :)

p/s : if u read this..just leave ur comment in this post~ ^o^/

like a star.

made this poem for ranmaru :)

..

he's like a star ..
can shine brightly on the sky ..
make the nite sky being beautiful with his soft shine ..
and accompany me everytime im sad or feel alone ..
because everytime i see the stars i feel calm ..
and make me realize that my life will be so dark without stars ..
the stars never go anywhere ..
always in the sky .. always in my heart ..
eventhough sometimes the stars didn't appear on the sky but i know he always there ..
because maybe he's hide behind the cloud ..
just like a star .. he's so far from here ..
even if i try to run to catch him .. but i still can't catch him ..

maybe me and him just can be together in dream ..

:')

..

For 희 영 (hee young)

hey my lovely dongsaeng named hee young wheerrrrreeee arrrrrrreeee yyyooouuuuu ? *looks around* xD

im here now ^ ^ but where are you eh ? =.=`
mianhae im not often online because im busy with my exam =.=` now just online for a while. i read your post about me on your blog..mianhae if you feel sad or lonely because of me > <`
i miss you too *hugs*

now where are you ? haih..when i'm online you're offline..when i'm offline you're online lol x'D

wish me luck and have a good score on my exam..okay ? and after that i will do your request ;p

btw i miss you my crazy partner..hhaha~ let's we crazy around again later xD lol

comment here if you're online ok ? :D