flash back.

i just watched the twilight stories again and i dunno why it's remind me about something in the past. slowly the memories flash back in my head. about him .. green eyes :') maybe because when i see edward, i feel like i can see my green eyes. the way he left bella and dissapeared because of the reason--dun want to hurt bella without he realize that is just make bella more hurt, not happy--just same with my story. the way he lied bella to make her forget him, the way he love bella and take care of her..just kinda same. the difference is edward left bella because he's vampire but green eyes left me because he's sick..leukemia cancer. the difference is edward back to bella but green eyes never back to me. he was gone. it's have been years but until now i havent found somelike like him. i think it's just impossible to find. who else would say "my problem is my problem and your problem is my problem" to me after him ? :"> the thing that i dun like from him is : he always save his problem alone. but i like the way he take care of me, i like the way he angry with me, i like the way he cheering me up everytime i feel down, i like the way he called me 'barbie eyes', etc. too much memories :')

i thought i was moved on. yes i am. but one thing for sure is i'll never forget him..my first love. even if i found another love, i'll just let him stay in my heart as my memories. nothing's wrong with that, rite ? like what many people say : first love cant be forgotten. love is hurt. but it's did ever made me happy too. although it's took a long time to survive from my broken heart.

then there's one person. the one who can 'knock' my heart. suddenly came and gave a new color to my world. i thought with him..i can have happy ending. not sad ending like my previous love but the fact is..he left me too. with the reason that i dun really understand until now :') again..it's hurt.

im a type of person who cant forget things so easily. but i also wont expect too much because i know someone who really love me will never leave me except if god want to. from that reason, i can see which is true love, rite ? then for what i put a hope on someone who didnt really love me ?

but sometimes..i still miss my past #okiknowimstupid. missing someone who's not missing u, loving someone which's not true. just let go of it sunny. someone go so someone better can come. it's true ? just let the time answer it then c':