a 'dead' blog.

blogwalking now. visiting some of my friend's blog here. if im on ur followers list..there's a possibility if i visited ur blog too :p

i like blog. i can online for hours just to blogging lol. some people maybe think it's so boring but for me blogging is such a fun. can be relaxing. example is when u feel lonely and it's like there's nobody want to listen u... just write it here. i call it "internet diary" hhehe. internet diary is better than "book diary" i think. because book may be lost but blog will not (except if u delete it)

book also can not respond u but in blog... people can read and give u a respond so at least u'll not feel lonely anymore.

or when u want to tell something to someone but u cant tell it directly, just write it here. that people maybe will read ur post..eventhough u cant be sure but still..there's a possibility :)

or when u have something u dont want to forget and want to save the "moment reminder" somewhere, share thoughts, and etc, u can do it here.

some people dont like to share their story on internet..they said it's for privacy. well... for that one i can understand. everyone need privacy. but for me... a girl who cant really open to everyone (except my close friends) and sometimes cant tell something directly, blog is important. because at least... i can tell the world about my mind through the internet. but ofc... i dont share everything here. i also have privacy..i just share things that i want people to know :)

reading stories or posts and viewing pictures in blog also can be relaxing, give u inspiration, teach u something and so on. beside that, designing blog also interesting hhaha

i remember the first time i start using blog, it's still 2011 and now is 2014 xD wew 3 years. sadly i dont remember the date so i dont know its "birthday". lol

i admit that now i cant be so active on blog like  i used to be. but eventhough i seldom online here and post something here... i never forget my blog. i know that im not a really good blogger. my posts is simply about what i want to write. mostly about random things maybe >< but still thankyou for my followers (to them who want to read random stuffs like this. hhehe :v)

sorry if i've ever said something wrong here and if i often leave this blog dead for a while.

btw i prefer to call "blog friends" instead of followers.

so blog friends..how are ya doing ? hope u all fine.

i found out that some blog that i followed really "dead" now. the latest post on some blogs is on a few months ago or a year ago and more. where are u eh ? -.-

it's kinda sad. especially when i really lost contact with some of them. maybe they're just too busy or lazy to play blog again ? whatever is that, i hope they all always fine.

not just friends in blog actually. but everywhere. old friends... so sad if suddenly dissapear and i cant contact them anymore :( it's just normal right ? peolpe always come and go. but i cant to not mind it.

and the one who i realy miss in here is my saengi..hee young ! T.T

it's been a really really long time i didnt talk with her. i see her never online anymore.

before, we used to chat everyday, created a post on blog for each other just-like-letters hhaha, this one is the example: http://lee-haru.blogspot.com/2011/09/sakura-shiraishi.html

that time blog is just like our world. we used to think that blog is more fun and comfortable to talk and share thoughts than facebook or etc lol. miss her so much :')

some of my blog friends still active, some are just busy i think, some maybe have a new blog (like me who have created a new blog on wordpress also ^^"v), etc.

it's make me wonder: one day... will i do the same like them ? will i just let this blog "dead" later ?

idk. it's depends...

to: mom and dad

mom, dad, u two may never know or read this post but i’ll still write what i want you both to know in here. i just... need to spill it out. im sorry i just can write, when words cant even describe my feeling. tears just burst.

tonight im crying. when i write this, im crying...

why ?

actually it’s just because a small thing. a small thing which caused a little quarrel with you... mom.

maybe im just too childish. i take your scold too seriously. but when i think it again... no mom, it’s not just because of that. im not really sure what exactly is it, but whatever it is, it’s make me feel like im not a good daughter: always do wrong, never good in your eyes.

why mom, why ?

dont you see my effort ?

i always want to give you happiness. i always want you to be happy and see your smile. i hope you know that if your smile is like everything to me.

im never forget you even just for one second, everytime and everywhere.

when im happy because of something, you’re the first people who i told about it. never i hide my happiness from you, never i—when get something great—enjoyed it alone. always told you,  it’s just because i want you to be happy too.

i also never want to see you sad or cry. eventhough i know, sometimes i hurt your feeling because of my words or my attitude. but mom, im really never meant it! you must know that, everytime—i feel that—i hurt you, i just want to slap my self.

i also know that sometimes im naughty, didnt hear your words. but mom, im just a girl then, not an angel. i can make a fault too, but i also learnt from it. i just want to be the best, not the best people in everyone’s eyes, but at least the best for you, i want to be the best in--my best people’s eyes—mom and dad.

mom... you believe me ? your name never absent in my prayers.

mom... i love you. i know and im sure that you love me too. eventhough sometimes you scold me, i know, you did that because you want the best for me.  in it, you taught me how to be strong, taught me how to be a nice people.

from your eyes, i can see your love for me too mom. you're the woman who worried when i get sick, worried when i back home late—eventhough it’s still 7 pm x'D. mom i love you and i bet you know it.

...

dad, i love you too. im closer with mom than with you, but dad, my love to you is bigger than you can know.

i also know that you love me, i can feel it. eventhough you never say it to me directly, but i can see it from your actions. that’s the true love, not through the words but through the real action. i see that dad, thank you. i love you too, really.

you’re the one who always text me or call me if i back home late. mom said it’s because she told you to do that, but i know... you also will do that without she asked you. even when you’re not yet reach home, still in your work, you always text me, ask if i already in home or not, also pick me if im afraid to go home alone. dad, you are my hero.

you’re never mad or angry or scold at me, and even if yes, not as much as mom did. you even always defend me when i got scolded from mom, but then you’ll give advice to me. your words always make me calm and get motivated. your way is smooth but wise and make me obey you.

im sorry dad, if maybe i’ve ever hurted your feeling too. sorry if i’ve ever dissapointed you. thanks for always understand me and patient with me :')

dad, i like your way to take care of me like that. i want you to always take care of me but i realized... i’ll grow up. dad, your little girl will be a woman. i just want to make sure that i will be a perfect woman... in you and mom’s eyes. and i will be the one who take care of you and mom later :)

...

it’s too much. too much things that you both have done to me.

i’ll never feel enough to say “thanks”.

maybe it’s also too much disappoinment that i give.

and i also will never feel enough to say “sorry”.

...

thanks and sorry thanks and sorry thanks and sorry :''')

i love you both i love you both i love you both !!! {{{}}}

...

im your only daughter. your only kid.

yeah.

that’s why i should not dissapoint you :}

wait for me mom and dad. always beside me in my way to reach my dreams.

you two are the reason why i always keep strong. the reason why i always keep spirit, because one of my dreams is always see ur smile. make mom and dad happy :’)

...

like i said before. words will never enough, i cant describe my feeling more.

but you got the point right ? thats i love you and always want to make you happy.

sincerely: the girl who always love u

2nd blog ^^"

now i just want to introduce my new blog: http://sunkyuuu.wordpress.com/ hhehe ^^ i made it a few weeks ago. idk why..i feel like want to create a new one. a blog which more mature than this blog (?) :3 lol but don't worry. I'LL NEVER LEAVE THIS BLOG :*

i'll still update here like usual (if i have free time and something to share ofc :v)

eventhough im not sure if i'll often update too x'D idk. i feel a little confused after i created a new blog like: when to post there and when to post here also what to post there and here ? lol forgive me ><